Giveaway Time! NSFW Saturday – Foul Mouthed Pillows


Mr X Stitch presents NSFW Saturday - the naughtiest needlework on the planet!

Hi everyone! It’s that time again! Ready for some strong language in stitches? Then scroll past the adorable bunny and let’s get to it!

WARNING!

NSFW SATURDAYS WILL CONTAIN CONTENT THAT IS NOT SAFE FOR WORK!

IF YOU READ THESE POSTS, AND ARE OFFENDED, WE’RE SORRY BUT WE DID WARN YOU!

carrot

This week we’re going to look at some lovely little hand-stitched pillows made by Naughty Needle. I couldn’t choose just one, so here’s a selection:

CumHiccup_by_naughtyneedle

Bloodfart_by_naughtyneedle

Shit_Stain_by_naughtyneedle

I would treasure the opportunity to have any of these in my home. Of course, I might slip a cover over them if company was coming… Maybe. ๐Ÿ™‚

Be sure to visit Naughty Needle‘s website, there’s a lot more to see!

And now – the giveaway portion of this post!

*cheers* *fanfare*

Friend of Mr X Stitch Claire is a double threat. Not only is she a purveyor of all things kawaii, she wields a wicked needle, too! She has generously offered to provide any one of the original samplers in her shop for us to give away to one of you lucky people! Isn’t she a sweetie?

Here’s an example of what you could get:

andthehorse by misofunky

Here’s what you need to do: Leave a comment on this post with your favorite snarky phrase or dirty word that you think should be immortalized in stitch.

Mr X says I have to tell you this:

Competition Rules:

The closing date for this competition is Midday (GMT) on Saturday 5th September.

The winning comment will be chosen by a random number generator and announced in a post on the same day.

The winner will not be eligible for any of the other prizes in the competition – if their comment is chosen at random in a subsequent competition, another number will be chosen.

The winners will be contacted by email and the details for postage arranged therewith.

(Heeheehee, he said therewith! That’s so British! ๐Ÿ™‚ )

So come on, people, show me what you’ve got!

—–

NSFW Saturdays are brought to you in association with Subversive Cross Stitch, the original snarky stitching site!


Mr X

Mr X

Director at Mr X Stitch
The Kingpin of Contemporary Embroidery.
Mr X

@mrxstitch

The kingpin of contemporary cross-stitch and embroidery - http://t.co/CrYosuM21G
RT @womensart1: US illustrator and textile artist Angela Pilgrim, Afro Puff ll, 2015, print. #womensart https://t.co/w1psPD3dR9 - 2 years ago
Mr X
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57 thoughts on “Giveaway Time! NSFW Saturday – Foul Mouthed Pillows

  • Vile cadshitter or the noun vilecadshittery.

  • I’d have to say cunt rag would be my all time favorite, and stitched would make it even better…

  • evil twat!

  • I LOVE these. They are absolutely adorable, and the words on them are fantastic. <3

    Twat waffle is a favorite word of mine.

  • Happy Horseshit!

  • Cum-gargling gutter slut!

  • FLUFFER (I like to keep things cute ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • Slut rag is my favourite insult. So favourite I use it on my best friends all the time. Seriously.

    I’ve gotta say though, blood fart was too far for me! I thought I was unshockable but oh no. Cum hiccup is fine, of course.

  • Um, “nice” suggestions so far! Keep ’em coming! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • A friend of mine once called a co-worker a toxic thundercunt, and I have been in love with the phrase ever since.

  • I think mine would be ‘Bugger Me’. I use it all the time, often totally inappropriately!

  • Toilet Grungy

    It was my brother’s nickname when we were in grade school. I have no idea why.

  • well it’s not shocking and it’s not even rude but it’s my all time favourite insult is “cake sniffer” which comes from lemony snickett.

  • ass hat. ๐Ÿ˜€

  • Really?! Awesome…

    Fuckwit
    Dingleberry
    Cum Dumpster
    Rat whore motherfucker
    Tampon sucker
    Ass fuck
    Fucktard

    And on any given day I string any & all (plus all the more common of course) together while in traffic. ๐Ÿ˜€

  • I’ve always personally enjoyed whorebag, cum dumpster and syphilitic penis slit.

  • My favorite phrase to use when things are absolutely crazy: “you gotta be handfucking me”

  • Hmm… vile phrase or insult. Fucktard. Or “douchebaggy”as an adjective. My friend used it the other day and I thought it was awesome.

    As a sociological/linguistic obsessor, I am also now left wondering why so many of our faves relate to rude words for female anatomy. Ah, the joys of insidious gender bias. There should be more insulting words for male genitalia.

  • I sort of adore “Son of a motherless goat.” Not foul, but effective nonetheless.

  • CORNHOLE
    Fuckwad

  • I’d have to say that KNOB ROT is one of my favorites x

  • What do you mean I only get to have one favorite insult?

    cheap-ass piece of fuck nugget

    cockgobbler is up there too.

  • Mealy-mouthed crotch pheasant

    Twatwaffle

    Clownfucker

  • fucktard.
    rat bastard.

  • This is possible the funniest list of comments I have ever seen… Keep ’em coming people!

  • i can’t believe no one has said cocksucker. it’s an oldie but a goodie and makes me think of deadwood. cocksucker. ahhhh.

  • one of the lines I’d like to stitch in my series of quotes from my favorite movie ever, Repo Man: “goddamn dipshit gypsy dildo punks”

  • My favorite just because it is never used is “Snot Sucking Donkey Fart”

  • Your Mother should have crossed her legs and opened her mouth.
    That is a personal favorite of mine.

  • My recent favourites are “shitbiscuit” and “fuckbucket”.
    I like swearing far too much.

  • squarerootofpi

    29 August 2009 at 9:27 pm

    My favourite is “drooling butthole”. It doesn’t sound quite offensive, but if you think about the imagery behind the statement, it will disgust you after a while.

  • A simple ‘Cunt’ would suffice

  • Quim Queef….as in “Sod off! You’re nothing but a quim queef you willy waggin snolly goster!”

    Thank you very much :o)

  • I lost a little of my naivety recently when I learned the real meaning of “bugger” and since then have been telling people to “ASS FUCK OFF” instead of just bugger off… And I think I would like that immortalized. Maybe not by my own hand as I’m make things a little less… well, a little more “mommy” …

  • I have always been partial to “waste of skin”.
    Or a private joke “Now say something nice about me”

  • รขโ‚ฌล“Sod off! Youรขโ‚ฌโ„ขre nothing but a quim queef you willy waggin snolly goster!รขโ‚ฌย is absolutely awesome but in a brief pinch I prefer cock-nazi or twat-goblin.

  • My very favorite insult is “fuckstain”. I also like “bloody vagina fart”.

    xoxo

  • I am a fan of Dickwaffle, Dick Slap, and Cuntmuffin.

  • Republican?

  • I would love to see a favorite phrase of my father’s immortalized (ahh…the filthy language dear old dad teaches):

    You’re a bitch, you’re mama’s a bitch, and you’re a son of a bitch

    or one of my favorite lines from The Doors (movie):

    Suck a fart
    (from my asswhole you slave driving fascist!)
    even just the first part would be awesome imho.

  • A relatively common one among my friends is fuckstain, but my all time favorite comes from a friend I originally met in the mmorpg WoW. When he would get really excited or frustrated while we were in a battleground or just doing world PvP, he would often exclaim “Eat taint!” over ventrilo as he killed a (skilled in PvP) member of the opposing faction. Good times.

  • Soapy tit wank.
    A colleague of mine used to call his ex-boss this stupendous nickname, behind his back of course. Now used as my weapon of choice…

  • poo pile

    ๐Ÿ™‚

  • A woman I used to work with has the best expression ever. I have used it faithfully ever since:
    Your daddy should have pulled out and shot you on the wall!

    And the insults you can create with limited knowledge of a foreign language is astounding. My personal favorite is Japanese:
    Tako-menko (roughly translates to octopus-vagina)

  • PimpernelSmith

    30 August 2009 at 5:49 pm

    Not an insult, per se, but came to me when a friend managed to irritate me to the point of anger:
    “So help me, I am going to string you up by your nether orbs and set your beard alight!!”

    p.s. When I started reading this thread I really thought Clair’s sampler read “fuck you and the whores you rode in on”….

  • In my fambly, Turd Butt is a term of endearment!

    My mom’s faves to roll off her tongue got around the whole dirty word thing, but still gets the point across:

    Son of an Unwed Mother
    Sunny Beaches (as in, what’s the Riviera got in common with this joint? Both full of ’em!)

  • My favourite to be stitched up would be INBRED, HAIRY MUPPET-FUCK.

    It was coined by an acquaintance of ours after a very drunken night and now, years later, it remains my favourite “naughty” expression. I’m sorely tempted to design a very pretty sampler in which to include these words!

    Another phrase I utter on a regular basis and would love to see in stitches in BUGGERY BOLLOCKS.

  • twatwaffle

  • I rather like “Die, yuppie cunt”. Simple, direct, to the point. And stolen off TV.

  • I feel like such an idiot, but a totally FRUSTRATED idiot. What does NSFW stand for???????? someone PLEASE tell me!!!!

  • While laying on my bed yesterday I got the sudden urge to call someone a “Snatch Ratchet.” I don’t think I’ve ever heard it before, but I lie in wait for the perfect opportunity to use it… Probably at one of my sisters-in-law… “Quit being such a snatch ratchet!”

  • since i swear like a sailor, fuck is always my absolute favourite. i love really random curses like “holy mary, mother of god” as well, and after living with quebecois friends, i have a special place in my heart for “tabarnaque “, or as we said it “tabarfuckingnaque”. i wanted to get group tshirts with that on it, but i was veto’d, and 10 years later, i’m still bitter!

  • I know the competition’s finished, but I had to add my husband’s fav:
    wank-stain.

  • My husband coined this word spontaneously for a guy who cut us off on the interstate three times in ten minutes, deliberately and without reason. I give you:

    Turd-slurper.

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